Honesty

Many of you have commented on how great things look here and how well we are settling in.  For sure we are settling in and adjusting well to this culture, but nothing really prepares you for the different challenges that you will face.  Not everything is what we imagined.  Missing family and friends has been one of my biggest struggles, and also missing the familiarity of things.  One thing I know about myself is that I am quite reserved and enjoy feeling safe.  Being put in a brand new world, in a sense, has challenged me to step out of that comfort zone, meet new people, try new things, and look inside myself.  I have learned that I need to smile more, laugh more, and lighten up.  These are not new things that I have discovered, just things that have come, once again, to the forefront as I try to make myself known in a new community.  These are not easy things, as anyone would know, but I know that time can make all the difference in the world.

As I learn more about myself and struggle with finding my way, I remain a wife and mother to a husband and three little ones who have struggles of their own.  I try to support my husband as he adjusts to a new work environment, new colleagues, new courses to teach, all the while also missing friends and the familiarity of home.  We continuously work to keep our relationship strong while we deal with new stresses in life and keeping lines of communication open so that we learn to understand each other.

Besides being a regular spunky three year old, Jolene seems to have adjusted just fine.  It makes me sad that I don't hear the familiar "Can I go to Ryan's?" or "I wanna play with Anneke!"  or "Raina's my friend. Right mom?"  Now I hear other's kids names in those places, which is reassuring.  She seems to have very little trouble with finding new friends.  She is social and pleasant, most of the time, and enjoys being around people.  Jolene, being our youngest, however, seems to have issues with not wanting to listen and crying when she doesn't get her way.  It is the type of struggle anyone might have, but some days it seems like crying is what she does best.  Added to the stress of whatever a day may bring, this crying can drive you mad.

Alana, as you may recall, broke my heart the two weeks of school.  She clung to me and cried as if I was making her do the most horrible thing in the world... go to school.  Things have definitely improved.  Last week she asked, instead of walking with me to drop Vince off at his classroom, if she could walk by herself to her classroom.  She has amazed both Paul and I with her determination.  She has to work hard to keep up in the classroom, but she is managing and she is loving her class, her teachers, and her friends.  I have been so impressed by how well she has adapted to the changes we have experienced.  She still misses her friends, and wants to talk to them.  Just yesterday she told me that she wants to set up a time to talk to her friend Valerie.  She still holds a place in her heart for her dear Canadian friends.  She has not forgotten them and has asked a number of times, since moving here, when we are moving back.

Vince started off with a bang here in Indonesia.  He was hesitant, but he was willing to be brave when it came to new things.  I still see that adventurous side to him, but something different is happening with Vince's experience here, in Indonesia, that I wasn't prepared for.  Like me, he is having to look inside himself and figure out who he wants to be, whether he wants to or not.  He's having to grow up faster than I want my 7 year old boy to have to.  He has also had to work hard in class as he is the youngest and things are more advanced here.  However, he plugs away and rarely complains.

Maybe it's because he's the oldest and he has more memories of Canada and our life there, but he misses home the most.  He misses the snow, and he misses setting up our Christmas tree in our home in Canada, and he really, really misses his friends.  These are normal things and we just talk about those memories and how we are going to make new memories here.  But, if you ask Vince if he likes living here, he answers with a most convincing "YES!"  When asked why?, he responds by saying that there are really cool things to do here, such as: the arcade, roller coaster in the mall, KidZania, LollyPop Land, etc. (what he doesn't realize is that there are cool things in Canada that we just never got around to doing yet).  Also, even though he often struggles with the transition, he always tells me that his day at school was "Great!"  We love his positive attitude.

The details of our struggles are for us to know and to figure out. I wanted to be honest in how things are going.  I know that half of what we deal with on a daily basis is not entirely new to anyone, and these things could easily be the exact same struggles you face in Canada, or even moving to a new town.  However, culture shock is real and how they do things here are not easy to figure out.  It takes time and it adds stress to everyday things.  We are stretched, but by God's grace, He is allowing us to do this.  He is the One that reminds me to connect with my husband, to give my son a day off from school, to make a sticker reward sheet for my spunky 3 year old, and to sit and marvel as my daughter reads her school book to me.  He is the One that reminds me to believe in myself and to be confident in who I am and not worry about what others may think of me (I'm still working on that one).  He is the One who will help us grow through our everyday challenges.